BabyT: A Birth Story

Warning: This post is about birth and is uncensored so be prepared for the not-so-pleasant words that go with the messiness of having a baby. And sorry it's so long, but I likey the details.

I don't really even know how to begin this post. How do you describe the most significant moment in your life and do it proper justice? I guess I'll begin where I left off.

3 days after my last post, I had my weekly OB appointment. Dr. T checked me, and if I remember correctly, I was around 1.5-2cm and 70% effaced. I had protein in my urine, which can be a sign of a serious condition called pre-eclampsia, but my blood pressure was good and I hadn't had a sudden increase in weight (I'd actually lost 3lbs since my last appointment), so Dr. T was cautious but not concerned. She had me give another urine sample (protein still high) and hop on the monitors for 20 minutes for a non-stress test. Everything looked great but she wanted to see me again Monday to start my twice weekly appointments.

Before she sent me on my way, she jokingly said "I don't think there's any reason to induce you, but you know, if you wanted to drop that whole natural birth thing, we could have this baby out tomorrow." My response: "oooh, you're cute." She about died laughing. She also ordered me to have sex, bounce on my ball, go for a walk, and do whatever else to try to "get those contractions going." We followed her orders.

The next day, I started having contractions. Nothing timeable, but I was hoping it was more than just the typical contractions I had after a cervical exam. I went to the bathroom as I was leaving work and noticed I had lost my mucous plug. It looks as gross as it sounds. Ran some errands looking for a baby memory book and the contractions kept a'coming. Come on, baby!!

We went for another walk that evening, and the contractions started to get semi-regular. During the night, they kept getting closer together and more painful. The pain (and excitement) was keeping me up so I started timing them around 3am, and they were coming every few minutes. Yes!! But this wasn't the first time they would happen during the night then stop when I got up so I didn't want to get too excited.

Finally, around 5am I gave up on going back to sleep and hopped in the shower. If they were like the others, they'd go away. They didn't go away. They spaced out a bit, but they were still 6-7 minutes apart and getting stronger. Like hanging onto the wall, breathing through them strong. Holler!

I finally woke Jason up at 7am to let him know what was going on and because I kind of needed a ride into the office due to those contraction things and all. Sounds logical, right? In labor...go to work! So we drove to work so I could grab my laptop, let my boss know that things were starting to happen without freaking him out, and give my replacement a couple more bits of info.

And, of course, on the way home, we almost got ran off the interstate. That was fun.

Jason was anxious to get his laboring wife home, but I convinced him to stop by Chick-fil-a for a chicken biscuit. Must have food!

That was my undoing.

Literally, as soon as I ate, my contractions started slowing down. They went from 5-7 minutes apart to 10-20 minutes apart. I was so bummed!

I wanted to go walking or do something to get the ball rolling again, but it was blazing hot outside so Jason took me to run errands. We went to the health food store, Target, Newk's, and FedEx to print out the birth plan.

At Target, I bought all these awesome "labor" supplies - protein snacks, honey teas, gatorade. Things that would give me energy to get through labor. Because I wasn't in labor, obviously. Every time I'd have a contraction in the store, I'd end up hanging over the buggy or when my wonderful husband walked away with the buggy, hanging on the aisle displays. I'm sure I was a sight to behold.

I was convinced this was still super early labor and I didn't really need to prepare, it'd probably fizzle out and all that jazz.

Contractions were starting to pick up a bit again, getting stronger and closer together. We had to leave Newk's early because I was so uncomfortable. Looking back, that was the last meal we had as a family of two.

They continued to get stronger and closer together as the evening went on. Jason started timing them but he was in his game room and I was in the living room so every time one would start, I'd yell "Contraction!!" then when he was over I'd yell for him to stop. They got to be about 5-7 minutes apart again.

I washed some of Levi's clothes and started to get our bags ready. I still was in denial and thought we had plenty of time so I didn't really make much progress.

Around 10pm, I laid down on the couch to try to catch a nap. I'd been up since 3am and hadn't really slept before that so I was getting tired.

About that time, I texted Pam Abdoula to let her know what was going on. Contractions 5-7 minutes apart, pretty intense, requires breathing and focus to get through them. I guess she didn't like what I was saying because she called me to listen while I had a contraction.

Almost immediately upon hanging up with her, I had a really intense contraction. I went to the bathroom and noticed my pad was super wet. Then I had another super intense contraction. Whoa, that was only like 2 minutes apart.

That's when it really started. Looking back now, I realize my water had broken. Levi's head had been low so that's why I didn't have a big rush of fluids. His head plugged the leak quickly.

So I was in labor. And not the cute, hang on a buggy labor. The moaning, swaying, holy crap this freakin hurts labor. I had to hang on to Jason several times and I was starting to get louder and louder during the peaks.

I climbed into the tub with my meditation tracks and those helped for a while, but I kept losing focus because I wasn't able to lay back like I had practiced. Then I tried a hot shower. They were coming one right on top of the other and definitely getting more intense so we decided it was time to call Pam.

Jason called her from the bathroom while I was still vocalizing in the shower. I remember him saying "I think she's in transition" and I yelled "I'm not in transition." Pam thought I was moaning between contractions and said it was definitely time to get to the hospital. I wasn't moaning between them yet, and I probably should and could have waited a little longer, but I think we were all ready to go at that point.

Right as I stepped out of the shower, before I could even dry off, I had another contraction. I hung onto Jason, swaying my way through it, and then felt water leaking. I told him that I thought my water had just broken. Again, looking back, my water had already broken and this was just more leaking.

So now we're definitely ready to go to the hospital, and I, well, I'm trying to finish packing my freaking bag! Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on finding clothes and making sure you have your toothbrush and deodorant when you're in active labor with contractions every couple of minutes apart?? It's hard. Jason even picked me out clothes to wear up there because I was putting way too much thought into it.

I remember being very calm about it though. Like I thought maybe I'd freak out a bit, but I was very focused and aware. Jason on the other hand was breaking a sweat from going from one room to the other, getting the dogs squared away, getting the truck loaded up, texting family, etc. He wasn't frantic but he was moving with a purpose. From the time I got out of the shower until the time we actually got into the car had to have been 20 minutes or so.

We left for the hospital around 1:20am, called both sets of parents to let them know. Contractions in the car weren't fun, especially on Louisiana roads.

We got to the hospital around 1:45. After working through a contraction in the hall, I remember the nurse saying "we've got your room all ready" almost like I was visiting a luxurious hotel. I remember thinking "did someone call ahead and let them know I was coming?" No, apparently women come here during spontaneous labor a lot. It's kind of what they do. I obviously wasn't thinking clearly at this time.

Room 133. That's where it all went down.

After getting settled in the room and going over our birth plan, of which they were very supportive, the nurse checked me and I was 5.5-6cm. Woot! She asked me about a 3,847 admission questions which is exactly what you want when you're in active labor. There's gotta be a better way.

The rest of the labor is a bit of a blur. I remember random bits and pieces, but most of it is pretty fuzzy. Jason's filled me in on a lot of the details.

My parents got there around 3am and came for a quick kiss. I labored in bed on my back for a couple hours, living off of ice chips because I wasn't able to hold down water. I caught some zzz's between contractions which I find so funny because I always thought people were crazy when they said they fell asleep in between contractions. How is that possible? It's because you're freakin exhausted. Even though it was only a few minutes each time, it was very restorative. I actually felt bad for Jason and Pam because they weren't able to take mini-naps. Suckers.

The next check was a few hours later, I'd say around 4-5. Zero progress. It was so deflating. I knew I had to quit being lazy and get out of the bed so we decided to get me upright and let gravity help out. I tried laboring on the ball, standing up hanging onto Jason, on all fours in my bed. I started having back labor so Jason and Pam would apply pressure to my lower back. It helped a little but not much.

I eventually ended up on the toilet because I had to poop but couldn't, and not just the typical poop feeling before giving birth. I'd been having to poop most the night and I really wanted to do it in the toilet instead of on the bed. While I was in there, I had an urge to push, but I couldn't really tell if it was baby or poop related. That's a nice problem to have, huh?

The urge to push kept getting stronger and I finally told them I think I needed to push. Of course, this was right around shift change! I waited until the new nurse came in, Janice. Pam requested her because apparently she's one of the best. Knowing what I know now, I'd have to agree.

Janice checked me and I was around a 7.5cm. Again, I was so discouraged because I really felt like I was hitting a wall and couldn't make it much longer. I never once asked for an epidural, it actually never crossed my mind, but I remember saying to Jason about 100 times that I couldn't do it anymore and that there has to be something I could do to help with the pain. He just kept holding my hand and reassuring me that I was doing great. He stood on my left, Pam stood on my right, both encouraging me and doing everything they could to help me through it.

I think around the 99th "I don't think I can do this," Jason told me that I was so far along, by the time they got me any meds, they wouldn't kick in in time anyway. He was saying that just to steer me away from thinking about caving. When Janice heard him say that, she pulled him to the side. When he came back, I asked him what she said. I was afraid Levi wasn't handling the contractions well or something bad was going on.

She told him that she knew I didn't want an epidural, but if it got to be too much, that it wasn't too late for one. It's so funny because you'd think in that moment, when I was struggling the most, the thought of an epidural would sound amazing. It didn't. I didn't even entertain it. I'll have to ask Jason, but I think I immediately said no I was okay. I was glad she was trying to respect my wishes by not mentioning it in front of me, but even at that moment, it didn't even entice me a little bit. In all honesty, the contractions were too painful and too close together to sit through getting one, but still.

At some time around this point is when things got really interesting. And by interesting I mean the most pain I've ever experienced. Janice said that my cervix was so thin, that she could stretch me the rest of the way. Jason and I both remember that I was at about a 7.5 when she suggested this, but Pam's notes indicate I was closer to a 9. Neither Jason nor I ever remember them checking me and being anything more than a 7.5 so I'm not sure who's right.

I was still having the urge to push but pushing against a not-fully open cervix could potentially lead to damage and by that point, anything to help move things along was okay with me. But you know it's going to be bad when you're in freaking labor and the nurse says "this is going to hurt."

And holy hell did it ever! With every contraction, I'd push and she'd stretch me out a little bit more. I don't remember how many times I did it, maybe 3-4, but it was seriously the most pain I've ever been in. I eventually had to tell her to stop because I couldn't take it any more. At that time, I was almost fully dilated but there was a little bit of a lip left. I think this was when I uttered my first cuss word. I got through labor with only 2 and I never got mean and told Jason it was all his fault so I'd call that a success. :)

Jason says this is when the nurses and aides started getting the room prepped for delivery. I remember feeling like it was a bit chaotic, people moving in and out, equipment being moved all around. I didn't really like it, but everyone kept telling me how great I was doing so it helped to have so many people rooting for me.

After Janice's stretch-o-doom, I was feeling even stronger urges to push but she told me to try to breath through them because I wasn't quite ready. I guess about 10-20 minutes passed, and I asked her if she could move the lip the rest of the way. Jason said that caught her off guard, that I would ask since I knew how much it was going to hurt. I actually don't think she had to do much that time, it was almost completely out of the way anyway. I think it only took one more push and the lip was around his head and he was ready to come out.

Go time!!

My first real push wasn't the greatest. I kept saying "I'm gonna poop! I'm gonna poop!" Seriously guys, I had to poop. Remember, been having to all day. And I could feel the baby, and I could feel the poop, and I really didn't want to poop on the table. So I was holding back. But Pam told me it was okay to poop and basically I had to do it in order to get the baby out. There wasn't enough room for both of them down there.

So with my next push, I just pushed like I had to poop.

Because I did. Have to poop.

And I did.

Poop.

On the table.

"I'm pooping!!" Oh Janice, I'm so sorry. I saw her scoop it up and carry it to the bathroom. Jason said it was only a very little bit. He's probably lying but I'm going to believe it wasn't much.

My poop push proved very productive. They were very impressed with my pushing abilities. What can I say, I'd been practicing throughout my pregnancy with my poops. Sitting on the toilet, pretending I was in labor, pushing.

Not all contractions gave me the urge to push. I think I breathed through 2-3 random ones throughout the pushing stage.

After only a few pushes, Levi was starting to crown.

Let's pause for a minute for a sit-rep (situation report for those of you not in the know). We've got me, in labor, Jason on my left, Pam on my right, Nurse Janice manning the chute, and a couple other nurses/aides in the room waiting to do what they do after the baby arrives. Who am I leaving out?

THE DOCTOR!!

Yep, Dr. T almost missed the show. Right as he starts to crown, she busts in the room. Jason said he heard her in the hall yelling, "what room?! what room?!" She bolts in with her hair still wet and suits up. About that time I'm yelling "I'm pushing!" and she yells back "don't push, don't push!!" It was probably funny if you weren't in labor.

She takes her spot, asks for some olive oil which Pam immediately hands over, and coaches me to push slow and steady so I won't tear.

They had the mirror set up so I could see everything. At one point, they kept telling me to touch his head. I didn't really want to, but I reached down and did. It was kinda squishy. Not really what I was expecting. Jason said I immediately wiped my fingers on the sheet like "eww, yucky!"

One more push and his head was out. Ouch, but not as bad as I was expecting. Last push and my baby boy was born!

After only 18 minutes of pushing, our little guy was born at 8:38am weighing 6lb 15oz and measuring 19.5in.

I honestly can't put into words what I felt in that moment. So many emotions collided in that one instant when he entered this world. There was joy and awe from meeting and holding my sweet boy, becoming a family we'd striven to become for so long, relief from the labor being over, excitement and pride that we were able to bring him into the world the exact way we had hoped and planned, looking up at Jason and seeing the tears of joy in his eyes as he saw his son for the first time. It was the best moment of my life.

We had our immediate skin-to-skin time, he got a 9/9 on his Apgars (we expected no less from our offspring), and other than a crooked pinky toe, he was absolutely perfect! Even with the crooked toe, he was still pretty perfect. After a few minutes, Jason passed so I cut the cord. Hey, why not?!

I didn't have any tearing, just minor abrasions and a hematoma, so recovery was super easy. I was up walking shortly after.

Our first attempts at nursing were a success. He latched on immediately and nursed like a champ. It was so nice being able to have that come easily because I know it doesn't for a lot of moms and babies.

Since we had such a smooth delivery and both Levi and I were doing well, they let us leave the next day. So a mere 28 hours after giving birth, we loaded up little man and hit the road. After the extremely scary car ride home, we introduced him to the puppies and our new lives began.

It's been 12 weeks since that day. The day that changed our lives in a way nothing else could. Every single day, I look at my sweet boy's face and thank God for letting me be his momma. The pain and heartache we went through, it's so clear now. We had to struggle because Levi was meant to be our son. We had to wait on him. God's plan is perfect and he gave us a perfect son in His time. We are so incredibly lucky, and I don't know what we did to deserve such a blessing when so many others are still struggling, but I love that boy more than life itself. Even when I was pregnant, I honestly never knew I could feel this kind of love. I was terrified I wouldn't be a good mom because I'm not the best with kids. But I'm the best with him. He has enriched my life in a way I could never imagine. I'm so thankful for him. I'm so thankful for Jason. I'm so thankful for our family.

BabyT: 39 Weeks

I'm officially 5 days away from my due date and still feeling great. I get the normal aches and pains. The event that is me getting up from the couch gave our friends a good laugh the other night. But all-in-all, I couldn't be happier with the way things have gone, and I haven't reached that "over it" point...yet. For being 39+2, I'm counting my blessings because I know a lot of women have it much worse this far along.

The last few weeks, we've made a major push to get everything finished up. We're such last-minute people, we were really walking a fine line there. But it all came together and pretty much all that's left is to pack our bags.

The nursery is completely done, and I'm so happy with how it turned out!! I'll make a separate post with pictures on that later. The carseat is installed, just need to get it checked out by the state troopers (doing that tomorrow). Thanks to my parents, we've got freezer meals to last us a while (the chicken spaghetti, ham, and tenderloin are already calling my name!).

This is my last week of work, and my boss and my boss's boss will both be in a meeting out of town. So basically all I really plan to do is some last minute training with my replacement and leave early every day. :) I'll work from home on Wednesday, the day of my next appt with Dr. T, and I'm debating just not going back after that except to turn in my computer. It's so weird to think about being off for nearly 3 whole months. I'm hoping there's a way I can keep in contact because no one really knows how to do what I do, and I'm afraid my programs are going get all jacked up and be a nightmare to fix when I get back. Oh well. Job security.

Yesterday, we met with our doula, Pam, for the final time before the big day. Or as my mom calls her, our Paula Abdoula. Or as my dad calls her, our witch doctor. Hey, I get it honest. 

We walked through a couple labor scenarios, and I think it helped us better prepare for what we'll do in early and active labor. She gave me a scenario, then she gave Jason a scenario and we both described what we'd do in early and active labor for those. It helped us kind of see where we were comfortable and where we might need suggestions on what to do. For me, I have a list of things I can do in early labor, but when active labor hits, I wasn't really sure what I should try as far as relaxation and coping techniques, so it really helped to walk through that.

Today was pretty great. Both my parents and Jason's parents came up to visit. It was the first time we've had them over together, and I loved having them both here. We talked a little about what to expect when we go into labor. I think both our moms are worried we're not going to call them when everything starts to go down. I would never keep them in the dark like that. 

But our labor will be completely different than a typical labor. I've only ever been to a few labors but they were all pretty similar - family and friends are in the room, hanging out and visiting until it's go time. Which is great...if you have an epidural. Or if you're not me, an introvert who gets overwhelmed with a lot of people around.

That's not really a possibility for us. By the time we get to the hospital, I'll be in a lot of pain. I'll probably be vocalizing a lot, and hopefully everything will be looking good so I can be up walking around, bouncing on my ball, hands and knees position, maybe in the tub if my membranes are still in tact. Best of all...minimally clothed. Believe me, no one wants to see that. ::shudder:: And I know I'd be highly uncomfortable being observed while in that state, even by my own mom.

I've been really lucky with how supportive our families have been. I know they are worried about me and might even think I'm a bit crazy. I'm okay with that. But none of them have said that to me or have told me horror stories or tried to talk me out of anything. It means a lot to me to not have to worry about being met with negativity and pessimism. So while I'm sure they think I'm out of my gourd, they've shown me nothing but support, both sides of my family, and for that I'm so grateful.

My dad has the utmost confidence in me, and today simply said "You can do it. You'll do fine." It's something he's said to me my whole life because that man believes I can do anything. They're words I'm hanging on to because I know he truly believes in me and believes I can do it, and that gives me so much motivation and encouragement. I know I'll think back to that moment when things are getting tough and I'm wanting to give up. Jason believes in me. My dad believes in me. They know I can do it. I can do it.

Sorry, this whole natural birth thing has been dominating my thoughts lately so that's obviously spilling over into these posts. Let's move on to the usual.

 

How far along: 39 weeks (8/16/13)

Fruit: Watermelon

Symptoms: Nothing new. Heartburn and not the best sleep most nights.

Weight Gain: It's so funny. I'll gain 2lb one week and none the next. I think right now I'm right at 30lb.

Food cravings/aversions: None this entire pregnancy. I wish I would've gotten some random craving and sent Jason to the store at 2am, but alas, nothing.

Movement: I actually got worried for a day or two there because his movement decreased significantly, but it's back to normal now.

Labor signs: Had a few contractions the other night, but they weren't intense and they went away when I got up.

Nursery status: Done! Whew!!

Rings On/Off: Band on my pinky.

Doctor appointments: Last Tuesday I was 1cm and 60-70% effaced. It wasn't much of a change from the week before. I'm also GBS negative so that is awwwwesome!

Most memorable moment: Definitely having both sets of parents in our home today. It'll be the last time until we see them all at the hospital when Levi is here. The last time to see them before we become parents too. ::sings "The Circle of Life"::

Most anxious moment: Those couple days when I wasn't feeling him move as much. I even whipped out the doppler, which I have done in months probably.

Things purchased for baby: Got a few last-minute items. Bought my K'Tan and I'm sooo excited to use it. I even tried it out on Kitkat. She wasn't quite as excited.

Milestones: I think every day is a milestone now. :)

Next appointment: Dr. T on Wednesday.

Looking forward to: I guess the only thing left is birth. That's kind of a big deal, yeh?

Sandi Goes Granola - Part 2

I wrote about why I decided to switch to a new OB in Part 1. So now let's talk about why I'm attempting to go med-free in the first place.

While we were still trying to conceive, a friend got pregnant and started posting on FB about how she was doing a natural home birth. I recall making a comment to Jason that I thought that was absolutely crazy and that I would gladly be taking my epidural as soon as possible. The friend also recommended a documentary, The Business of Being Born. 

I was bored one day so I streamed it on Netflix, completely skeptical and fully expecting to walk away even more sure of my criticism of the crunchy, granola type women who attempted childbirth without pain medication. I mean, you wouldn't get a root canal without some drugs, why push a kid out of your vagina without them?

Let me just say, I didn't walk away from it screaming that all hospitals and OBs are the devil and that I was going natural, baby!! Umm, no. In fact, I was still pretty confident I'd get an epidural.

What the documentary did, however, was open my eyes to a multitude of issues with modern practices regarding child birth in the US, and it left me with enough curiosity to do more research on my own. 

Then it became painfully obvious how difficult it was going to be for us to even get pregnant, so I just put all that on the back burner. No need to dedicate time and energy to something that may never happen for you.

As you know by now, it did eventually happen for us. Now that we finally had a baby on the way and we got out of the ultra-scary 1st trimester, it was time to consider how I wanted the birth to go down.

I started reading more and more about child birth, or at least about what a typical child birth in the US is like. I read so many birth stories that would start with inductions or early epidurals which would lead to a cascade of interventions and very often c-sections. The statistical data is alarming, especially when compared to other countries or even birth centers and midwifery practices in the US. Nearly half of all first-time moms receive inductions (doubles risk of c-section), and 27% get c-sections. Not to mention, Louisiana has the highest c-section rate in the country. I decided that was NOT the route I wanted to take.

So I started researching natural birth and evidence-based maternity care. It didn't take me long to realize that this was the right method for me. For various reasons. 

Avoiding the unnecessary interventions was a key factor. Unless it's medically necessary, I don't want to be induced before 41 weeks and if my BPPs and NSTs looked good, I would be willing to push it to closer to 42 weeks (ACOG guideline). And I definitely don't want a c-section because I tried to force my baby out before he was ready and was slapped with a failure to progress tag. ACOG also states that suspected fetal macrosomia (big baby) isn't a reason for automatic induction or c-section in women who do not have gestational diabetes or some other medical factor where the baby might be larger. 

I also don't handle pain meds well and the general idea of an epidural is unsettling to me, how it's administered and the effects.

Those weren't the only reasons though. It also boiled down to how our entire process to get pregnant was so....clinical. It was one intervention after the next with so many doctors and nurses and medical procedures and invasions of privacy involved. It wasn't "natural" in the sense that it wasn't how I ever dreamed of it being. That intimacy in creating life together was taken from us and replaced with speculums, catheters, and ultrasounds. It wasn't how it was supposed to be. 

So this birth, the birth of the son we tried so hard to conceive, a son we waited so long to meet, this birth will be just about us. Jason and I, together. Me being in the moment and focused on my body, him coaching me and supporting me as we experience this incredible, momentous event in our lives and welcome our son into the world.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not one of those people who say epidurals are horrible and natural is the only way to go. I don't side-eye any woman for wanting as little pain as possible during what will likely be the most pain she's ever experienced. (Medically unnecessary inductions before 40w or planned c-sections for convenience may get a side-eye.) I absolutely believe medical interventions can be necessary and life-saving in certain situations. If those types of complications arise in our labor and intervention becomes necessary, then interventions will be had. Or if I'm at hour 34 and I'm completely exhausted with no energy or will left, bring on the epidural.

I'm not trying to be a wonder woman or prove anything. I just believe this is the best way for us. And I believe we will succeed. I'm so lucky to have Jason by my side, who has not only agreed to my nontraditional notions, but has come to embrace them and want them as badly as I do. I know that having him there to coach me and give me encouragement and love me no matter what the outcome, that is the most important thing that will help me when I feel like giving up. 

At the end of the day, the only thing that matters is that Levi arrives healthy. If I get my perfect birth in the process, that'll be icing on the cake.

Sandi Goes Granola - Part 1

I mentioned last week that I decided to pull my OB late in the game and blindly go with another one I had never met before. Here's the skinny on that.

We, yes I say we because Jason plays a huge role in my success or failure, want to have an unmedicated, "natural" birth ideally with as little medical intervention as possible. This means no induction, no epidural, just me, Jason, and the uterus+vag doing our thing. Nice, huh?

I brought this up to Dr. G around 20 weeks or so, and she was very encouraging. To my fault and her credit, I didn't really lay out exactly what I had in mind. To be honest, at that time I didn't really know what I wanted or didn't want.

After more research and deciding on the things that were important to me, I talked with Dr. G about it again, this time in more detail. I asked about a heplock instead of an IV. She squirmed. I asked to be monitored intermittently so I can have free reign to move about the room. She was concerned. I asked when she likes to induce if I go over my due date. 40w4d. I was thinking closer to ACOG's guideline of 42 weeks, especially since first-time moms tend to go past their due dates anyway. If my water broke, do I have to come in immediately? Yes, for fear of a prolapsed cord. If they checked me at the hospital and confirmed the cord wasn't prolapsed, could I be released to labor at home then come back? I'd have to sign a waiver stating I was released against medical advice.

She was very open and honest with her answers, and even though it wasn't what I was hoping for, I was very glad she wasn't giving me lip service and just telling me what I wanted to hear only to go against that during crunch time. She even told me I'd probably be better off at the birth center in the next state (about an hour away), and she wouldn't be offended at all if I decided to go in another direction.

I walked away pretty bummed because I really liked her, but I knew I wouldn't be able to even attempt the birth experience I hoped for if I stayed under her care. So I started looking elsewhere. A couple doulas in town and friends who had gone natural gave me recommendations. One doctor's name seemed to continue popping up.

Dr. Tynes. 

I googled her and found a lot of NB-friendly comments about her. By this time, I was 31 weeks and didn't have time to dilly dally so I set up an appointment with her, transferred my records (which was a nightmare), and now have a new OB! She does a lot of natural births and is very comfortable with every I want. Even the new hospital I'll be delivering at is NB-friendly and they have tubs which is awwwesome. Although, I'm really hoping to labor at home so long I won't have much time to use the tub there.

It was a little bit of a whirlwind at first, and a little unsettling trying to find a new provider so late in the game, but I know it was the right decision in the long run. Just knowing that the L&D nurses and my OB are on board is such a weight lifted off my shoulders and I already feel like it gives me a little extra push to succeed.

So how did I come to the decision to go med-free? That's a whole other story...See Part 2.

BabyT: 36 Weeks

How far along: 36 weeks (7/26/13)

Fruit: Honeydew

Symptoms: Achy joints at night. Heartburn is still hanging in there. My belly is starting to feel super heavy and hurt when I walk around too long.

Weight Gain: A few lbs shy of 30. I don't really care at this point though. It's more than I wanted to gain, but because of my history, I honestly thought I was going to blow up like a balloon so I'm actually pleased.

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really.

Movement: Less kicking, more rolling. He's getting cramped.

Labor signs: Nothing yet.

Nursery status: I have a feeling this is going to be a last-minute finish type thing. We've worked in it a little this weekend and I hope to have everything completely done in the next week or so.

Rings On/Off: Band on my pinky.

Doctor appointments: I saw Dr. T's NP on Wednesday. Holy ball of chat. That woman did not hush the entire time she was in the room. I did the GBS test so I should get those results this week. She also did a cervical check and my cervix is closed and high so Levi's hanging tight for now. Originally, I was going to decline all cervical checks and I may still until closer to my due date, but I actually like knowing my progress. It doesn't really tell you anything - I could be closed and 0% effaced and go into labor the next day or I could walk around for weeks at 3-4cm. We'll see what I decide.

Most memorable moment: Not really baby-related, but we took my parents out to eat for my mom's bday. It was nice to just spend some time with them without it being at a shower, which is the only time I've seen them lately.

Most anxious moment: I'm not a patient person so waiting for the GBS results isn't very fun. Other than that, nothing noteworthy that I can recall.

Things purchased for baby: We bought the supplies to make the bookshelves. We decided to nix the rain gutter idea and make some wall shelves that can hold book and other nicknacks. I'm excited.

Milestones: None really this week. We're in the 20s on days remaining. A little scary.

Next appointment: Endo on Monday and Dr. T on Wednesday.

Looking forward to: I'm seriously ready for that massage. From last week to this week, my body has just gotten tired so I'm hoping a little relaxation will loosen some of the tightness in my muscles. My parents are also coming up next weekend to help me cook some meals to freeze. That'll be fun.

BabyT: 35 Weeks

I took a little hiatus on the blogging front. No particular reason except that things are going great, and I’m horrible at consistency. Jason's gotten on to me many times that I’m way overdue for an update so here it is. Probably going to be long and not so interesting, but I've missed a good chunk of time so here are the last 15 weeks in a nutshell.

First, let's see that bump! A recap of my bump growth from 14 weeks to 35 weeks. I'm definitely feeling pregnant these days, but I don't feel as bad as I was kind of expecting. My ankles come and go, my rings aren't fitting, but I don't feel gross...yet.

Like I said, things have gone pretty great so far, but we have had a couple minor scares along the way. Not so minor in the moment but in the grand scheme of things, they were nothing. 

I was admitted to L&D for contractions around 27 weeks. They monitored me for a few hours, gave me some meds to stop the contractions (I figured out I still don't handle pain meds well), and released me once things quieted down. The whole stay was around 4 hours, and my cervix was closed so no real emergency, just a little scary...mostly for Jason. It was cute to see him worried.

I also had my first public panic attack. My heart has started racing like crazy after zero physical exertion (still does nearly every day). One day it happened in my office, and I felt like I was going to pass out behind my desk and no one would find me. And I freaked. I ended up in my boss's office hyperventilating with several people around me. After what felt like forever, but was probably 30 minutes, I was walked to my boss's boss's office, put on a couch, and Jason was on his way to come get me. It was so embarrassing, but everyone was really great about it. My poor boss, I freaked him out to high heaven. It's funny looking back.

I'm also writing this with a piece of toilet paper in my nose because I woke up with a nose bleed. Normal but annoying.

We've had 3 showers - my family, Jason's family, and my current/Jason's old work. They were all so awesome, and we got a lot of great stuff. It makes us feel so blessed to have all these people around us that love us and are excited about Levi's arrival.

We've got less than 5 weeks until his due date, and I'm still not done with his nursery. In fact, everything we've gotten from our showers is piled up on the floor. It looks like I'm a hoarder of all things baby. I'm going to try to make a dent in it today so we can figure out what we've got and what's left to buy. I did make the cutest crib skirt, I'm working on the mobile, and we're doing rain gutter bookshelves kind of like these below. I don't know when I turned into a crafty, DIY-wannabe but I've had a lot of fun working on all these little projects. I'll upload pictures when everything's finished.

Hmm...what else. I passed my 1-hr glucose tolerance test (GTT), meaning I don't have Gestational Diabeetus. This was pretty huge because PCOSers tend to be more susceptible to GD since we already don't regulate our insulin well so I just knew I'd at least have to take the more in-depth 3-hr test. Nope! 

I also broke up with my OB. Don't get me wrong, I loved Dr. G. Great bedside manner, very personable, just a fun doctor all the way around. There are just some things I want in my birth experience that doesn't sit well with her, which is understandable. I'm going to dedicate an entry to this and get into all the details, but for now, I've switched to Dr. T and with her comes a new hospital that's 3x's further away. I'm not excited about that, but in the long run, I need a provider who is on the same page and comfortable with my hopes for my birth experience and Dr. T definitely is.

I was also released from the MFM last week. That means, unless something comes up, last Monday was the last time I'll see Levi until he's an outside baby. He went from measuring over a week ahead 3 weeks before to measuring 4 days behind, weighing in at 4lb 12oz. I'm not concerned (neither was the MFM) since these measurements are so subjective and can be off by so much. I'm just excited he's growing, and I can't wait to see who he looks like.

I think that pretty much brings us up to date. So now for the normal stuff. I've edited the list to gear it more toward late-pregnancy stuff.

How far along: 35 weeks (as of 7/19/13)

Fruit: Coconut

 

Symptoms: I've been getting the wonderful 3rd Tri heartburn and sleeplessness. I wish I could get a good night's sleep without waking up in pain every couple hours, but I have a feeling I'm not going to sleep well for the next several months. My ankles turn into baby elephant trunks if I spend too much time on my feet in this Louisiana July heat. 

Weight Gain: I really don't know. 25lbs? Since I switched OBs, I didn't ask like normal.

Food cravings/aversions: Nothing really.

Maternity Clothes: Yes indeedy! I've become obsessed with maxi skirts and dresses.

Movement: All the time. His feet/knees live in my ribs and his head is trying to teach me lessons on bladder control.

Labor signs: I've gotten tons of Braxton Hicks contractions but none of the legit ones.

Nursery status: In progress. Seriously need to finish this soon.

Rings On/Off: I wear my band on my pinky. My engagement ring quit fitting a while back but I could still manage the band until a couple weeks ago.

Doctor appointments: I'm down to only my OB and Endo. OB appointments will be every week starting next week and I my next Endo appt may be my last one.

Most memorable moment: There have been a lot in the last 15 weeks, but probably all my showers. I love spending time with family so it was nice to see a lot of family I haven't seen since our wedding.

Most anxious moment: Honestly, the panic attack was worse than hearing I was having contractions. The day after the contractions when the OB said my cervix was short and I'd need the steroid shots for Levi's lung development in case he came early was pretty nerve-wracking, but that ended up being a false alarm. With the panic attack, I seriously felt like I was completely losing control. It was scary.

Things purchased for baby: Lots and lots! If he came today, he'd have clothes, diapers, a place to sleep, food. He could actually survive. But we still have a few more things to get, like the stroller and the glider (which is paid for by the in-laws, just need to actually order it).

Milestones: V-day was awesome, even though I didn't feel more comfortable until around 28 weeks instead of 24. And 2 days ago was 35/35 - 35 weeks down, 35 days left to go. It's gone by in a blink and I can't believe we're in the home stretch. The last milestone is 37 weeks when he'll be term...then it's just waiting for him to get here!

Next appointment: I go see Dr. T's nurse practitioner on Wednesday for my 2-week check-up and Group B Strep test. Dr. T is on an Alaskan cruise. Lucky. It'll be weekly check-ups after that.

Looking forward to: I'm anxious to see if I'm GBS positive. Praying I'm not so I don't have to worry about those pesky IV antibiotics during labor. I'm also excited about 37 weeks being right around the corner and my prenatal massage I've got scheduled for that day. I need pampering. :)

BabyT: 20 Weeks

I was called out by Aunt Kelli for not posting lately. I didn't realize it had been 4 weeks! Ooops. A lot has happened in the last few weeks. First and foremost...

 

We are Team Blue and so excited that Baby Levi is doing great!!

 

We both felt we were having a boy and as you can see in our picture, we both inadvertently wore blue on the day of the Anatomy Scan. It was such a special moment. Tech Amanda quickly found the money shot and there was no question about it. I started crying, Jason even teared up.

 

The scan went well and everything looked normal except one small thing. The nurse said she thought I *might* have a slight placental previa, basically where the placenta covers the cervix. She did an internal and still couldn't really tell if it was over the cervix or just to the side of it. When the doc came in, he said he thinks it's to the side, especially since I haven't had any bleeding or spotting. He also said he wanted to see me again in 10 weeks to check out the heart in more detail just because I have pretty severe heart disease in my family, but the ticker looked great so far.

 

Afterwards, we went to the party store and filled some balloons with blue and "It's a Boy" confetti for the grandparents to pop. We drove 90 minutes and met my dad at my mom's work and made her pop the balloon. She hates balloons and screamed the whole time but it was fun. Then we drove an hour down to Jason's parents' house and did the same thing. His mom isn't a fan of her floor being dirty so Jason got a kick out of all the little bits of confetti that went everywhere. Everybody was so excited and of course I filmed the whole thing.

 

Onto the usual stuff...

 

How far along: 20 weeks (as of 4/5/13) - Half-baked!!!

 

Fruit:

 

 

 

 

Symptoms: Still nothing major or consistent.

 

Last week, I had an episode in T/BRU. We had eaten lunch and went to get Jason's niece a birthday present. We got her a Carebear and walked over to the baby area, just to get him familiar with some of the things we neeeeeed. I was getting a few cramps that had me stopping and leaning on aisle displays or furniture. After that, I started feeling off, a little nauseaus and dizzy and HOT.

 

As he was looking at LeapFrog games for his niece, I was leaning on a bin of DVDs and asked him if we could just get a gift card and leave, which is totally not like me because I love buying gifts for family. We started walking to the front of the store and I kept getting dizzier and more nauseated so I told him I needed a bathroom. Jason walked ahead to look for one, and I remember looking around and not being able to process anything, like I wasn't cognizant enough to even look for a sign that says Restrooms.

 

I finally called to Jason and told him I needed help, that I couldn't walk on my own. He helped me and we managed to get to the front of the store before I told him I had to sit down. I remember he basically had to hold my weight as I knelt on the ground. I had to keep my eyes closed because I couldn't see straight and I asked Jason to get me a trashcan, which he did. I remember thinking it felt like all the blood was gone from my face and later Jason told me I was very pale. I stayed on the floor for several minutes until it started to pass. I told Jason to feel the back of my neck and it was drenched with sweat. Yummy. When I finally was able to open my eyes and look around, I looked up and the first thing I saw was a huge "Restrooms -->" sign. I started laughing.

 

We got up, checked out, and called my OB. The on-call nurse told me to go to the ER but instead we came home and found the heartbeat, loud and strong, so we felt like a trip to the ER was overkill. Jason made me stay couch-bound the rest of the weekend, so we ended up missing his niece's bday party, which was the whole reason we were at TRU in the first place. He got a little crazy with the restrictions and one time when I purposely didn't take my phone with me to the bathroom, he came in and slid it under the door. He said I better be glad he's not making me wear a life alert. I love him. :)

 

Weight gain: Probably way too much. I was up +4 at my last appointment, which is a total of +5 according to the doc. I've stayed pretty steady since then but I think it's more like +10 from the very beginning. I feel huge and get out of breath all the time.

 

Food aversions: None.

Food cravings: I get minor cravings, like last week I was on a gummy kick, but still nothing major.

Maternity Clothes: I spent some time and money in Motherhood Maternity a couple weeks ago, and I'm waiting on shipments from Old Navy and Gap since they had some pretty good sales this week. I've still got 2 pair of jeans that fit but everything else is pretty much maternity now.

Movement? Yep!! You scared me for a few days when I didn't feel anything but you've been much more accomodating lately so I appreciate that. I can't wait until your pops can feel your kicks.

Doctor appointments: Nothing since the A/S.

Most memorable moment: In the past 4 weeks, seeing you again and finding out your our baby boy. Getting to tell your Nonnie and Pop Pop that they've got their first grandson on the way was fun too. Oh, and making your Nanny pop a balloon, which she is deathly afraid of, to find out what you are...that was awwwwesome!

Things purchased for baby: We finally got our furniture from Jody and Sam and we bought a changing table for $20 this week. I'm going to try my hand at antiquing it so if you don't have a changing table when you get here, something went wrong. I also scored a musical activity table - regular $45 but with price match and two coupons, I got it for $1.49. Aaaand thank you.

Milestones: Tomorrow I'll be half baked!!! I can't believe how fast this pregnancy is going by but I still have a near-daily panic attack from the realization that in just a few short months, I'll be solely (well, with your dad) responsible for another human and my life will never ever be the same. That's a little intimidating.

Next Appointment: I go back to the OB in a couple weeks and will go back to the MFM on 5/28 to check the heart. Your Nanny and Grandpa will be coming with me to see you on that visit. Nanny is super excited! Grandpa doesn't know he's getting to go so we're surprising him.