12/17/2012 - 4weeks 2 days

(This post and the next few to follow were written on the dates listed in the titles. I wanted to wait until we were able to share the news with our families before posting these.)

I woke up this morning and POA FRER. The line was light. Lighter than Friday’s. I broke down in my kitchen, bawling my eyes out, asking God why He did this. I climbed back in bed and told Jason and he just hugged me and told me that it was going to be okay. As soon as he hugged me, I just felt at peace. He has the unique superpower to calm his crazy wife. It’s impressive. 

But, being the scientific-minded person I am, I decided there could be a few variables that contributed to getting a lighter test. Of course, I didn’t decide this until I was in lying in bed, wrapped up in Jason’s therapeutic arms, after the freak out. 

1. The test looked wonky. The top and bottom of the test line looked good and dark, but the middle part of the line looked light and…fuzzy. And the words printed on the test were very faded so maybe the test was bad.
2. All my other tests have been dipped. This one was a direct hit with the pee stream. Nice visual, huh? Could the duration, amount, and method of saturation be a contributing factor to the darkness of the line? I’m reaching.
3. I’ve been drinking more water lately so maybe the sample wasn’t as concentrated. I also read on a very non-scientific site that if you take your prenatal at night, which I do, the Vitamin B could throw off your results. I’m not buying that one though. 

It’s 3:27pm, and I’m waiting for the call. I’ve been feeling like I’m going to pass out or throw up for the past 4 hours. Last night I ate pecans for supper. Today I had Chees-Its for lunch. Don’t judge me. I can’t eat I’m so nervous. They had called with the results by this time on Friday. Should they have called by now? 

It’s 3:35pm. Elevated heart rate, difficulty breathing, sweaty palms, cue panic attack! 

4:15pm and still nothing. I’ve never been this anxious for anything before. I have this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach but I’m trying to hold on to hope that this isn’t over already, after all we’ve done to get here. 

4:30pm…tick tock tick tock. 

It’s 156! That’s a doubling time of 51.7 hours, which is within the 48-72 hours that they like to see. Thank you, God!! 

They didn’t call until 4:42. Holy ball of nerves! The nurse apologized for it taking so long but Dr. V had an emergency today. I’m so relieved! Now I’m starving!!! We still have a ways to go but we’re heading in the right direction!